Still Waiting

Lately my life seems to be in a prolonged intermission. I’m waiting. Soon my current job will come to an end and I will either get an offer for a new job in a new location, or I will be searching for a new job. I thought I would know which by now, but instead, I’m still waiting.

The waiting takes a toll. It’s hard to be a hedonist as waiting is hardly a fulfilling activity. Perhaps if I were waiting as some sort of deferred gratification, some hedonic reward I could feel good about this situation. Unfortunately this particular situation is one that prevents me from planning any future pleasures. “Oh that looks like a great show, when is it?” “Oh, April – I’m not sure where I’ll be in April” and so on.

Fortunately as an enlightened or rational hedonist, I can invoke a bit of the serenity prayer and come to terms that this situation of my employment is, at the moment, beyond my control. All well and good, but it took an evening of contemplative late night ocean gazing (one of my preferred methods of hedonist meditation) to get me to accept it. 

So next on my agenda, is to begin answering the internal questions of “just what can I control” and “what can I do to feel more fulfilled in my life.” There is still plenty of pleasure to be had by engaging with my friends and perhaps flexing a little creative muscle that have nothing to do with my job.

I have 8748 days to live.